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Calendar ...

from the memory of my girlfriend ...

Since the calendar is a must for advice about Christmas!

One of the best things to do (for a female, about 26 years, love of Christmas) these days, is to prepare the tree and all decorations to make your home as close as possible to the village of Santa Claus !

Obviously it's even better to share these moments with your favorite engineer and so here's some advice to convince him that decorate the house does not cause neurological disorders, anxiety or depression symptoms that will attempt to stage as soon as the foot will roll a harmless golden ball!

The first suggestion is: do not let them do the tree. Too risky. You could see the balls arranged by size, type and color, and then find yourself a tree-style Rubik's Cube solved, or worse, adorned only by the visible part '... you know to optimize'. So put on your heart at rest, the tree is yours.

But there are ways to engage in hand and comes in the form of tiny colored lights.

The first thing to do is explain that you have an electrical problem, and perhaps even begin to listen in one ear, the second thing is to hope that time has done its duty and that some small light has burned out diligently. If this had not happened, cut the wire.

At this point your favorite engineer has already drawn up the following PLAN-DO-CHECK-ACT:

* Problem: Christmas is in danger;

* Cause: made in china;

* Resolution: to attack the enemy (the lights) with sophisticated tools (the stripper) proving to be good and safe (if you do not leave I buy new ones);

* Verify effectiveness: plug in the switch;

* Feedback and lessons learned, 'the Treasury should now!' then remove all the bulbs in the house because they, too, 'They need me!'

In this way, while you prepare the tree singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" at your side you will have your favorite engineer, and if it does not matter to remedy global warming will use alternative energy sources that provide the ' Use of your dog and a dynamo to start the lights at the bottom The important thing is being together not!

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Women Cycling ...

I am happy then I feel that between the legs drive the device and in those moments tend thighs, the waving of both drives him forward.
(L. Stecchetti)

--------------------

A young girl keeps a diary which records the daily events:

MONDAY ': I went out with Louis this evening. We were in his car and he tried to approach a bit 'too much. I got out of his car and went home on foot. My legs are still my best friends!

TUESDAY ': I went out with Mark tonight. We were in his car and he tried to approach a bit 'too much. I got out of his car and went home on foot. My legs are still my best friends!

WEDNESDAY ': I went out with Alex this evening. I like Alex. We were in his car and he tried to approach a bit 'too much. Have not fallen out of his car and did not return home on foot. Even best friends sometimes you have to separate ...

--------------------

dell'avvenente From the diary of a passenger cruise ship:

MONDAY ': beautiful day, the ship is beautiful, I met the master.

TUESDAY ': the comamdante me smile.

WEDNESDAY ': I am the master of the court.

THURSDAY ': the court of the commander is getting tighter.

FRIDAY ': The commander said that if I am not sure it will be to sink the ship.

Saturday: I saved the life of eighteen hundred people.

--------------------

The classroom teacher is doing anatomy lesson. The lesson of the day is especially the circulatory system. The teacher question

- Children, which of you is able to draw a heart?

Peter raises his hand immediately.

- Bravo, Peter! Then come to the blackboard and draws a heart.

Peter performs diligently. The teacher carefully observes the design and then make:

- But Peter ... why would you draw a heart with legs?

- Why is the night I always feel that dad does his mother: "Come here my little heart ... open your legs ..."

--------------------

An old octogenarian marries a young girl of eighteen.

After the wedding night, she goes down in the hotel lobby and has a shocked expression, it seems really destroyed. The clerk at the reception ago

- What happened to you?

The girl weeping

- He said he had put aside for sixty years ... I thought the money!!

--------------------

An old woman enters the study of Doctor:

- Good morning ma'am, what can I do for you?

- I would use the pills!

The doctor remains open mouth, then says,

- Excuse me Mrs. Bello ... but she has more than eighty years! What are you doing with the pills?

- They help me sleep better!

- How do you sleep better with the pills?

- Simple, put them in coca cola my niece before going to sleep ...

--------------------

Two friends at the bar. The first: "Would you like to do threesomes?". The second: "Of course, it would be my dream." The first: "Well then hurry home to your wife, maybe you're more in time."

--------------------

A lady gets on the tram with five children and tries to fix them all sit down.

no place remains the last and the lady looks around and says to the little: "Go to that gentleman and tell him a little string legs so there will be a place for you." The child goes to the Lord and the back and the disconsolate mother reports: "The Lord has said that if you squeezed the legs at the time, there would be room for everyone !!!!"

--------------------

After an exhausting wedding night her husband at sunrise overlooking the sea-view terrace of the hotel to smoke a cigarette.

Leaning a bit 'sees the terrace next to another young naked also is taking a breath of fresh air.

- Hello! Even in her honeymoon?

- Yeah! Just think 'what a coincidence!

- E Where is your wife?

- It 's on the bed smoking. And her?

- My does not smoke ... But a beautiful heated Did I date the same

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Ten things I never understood ... Marketing and advertising

Better to remain silent and pretend to be stupid, than to speak and remove all doubt "
(A. Strozzi)

1) Why women can not put on mascara keeping your mouth shut?
2) Why to close windows you must click on "start"?
3) Why does Lemonsoda is made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid are real lemon juice ?
4) When creating a new dog food "tastier," in reality whoever has tasted?
5) Why Noah did not leave drown the two mosquitoes?
6) Why sterilize the needle before engaging in lethal injections?
7) How is it with the material of the black boxes do not make us any plane?
8) Why do not sheep shrink when it rains?
9) If flying is so safe, why is the airport terminal?
10) How come forward this shit??

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When men can not change things change the words.
(J. Jaurès)

A young man moves into town and went to look for work in a department store.

The manager: "You already have some experience as a salesman?"

Young: "Of course, in the city where I come from I was a salesman!"

The manager finds that the young person is likeable and engaging him.

the first day of work is really hard, but the young man manages to get to the end.

After closing the store, the manager goes by the young. "How many sales you made today?"

"One!"

"Only one? Our sales in one day carry from twenty to thirty sales! For how much money you make the sale?"

"$ 101,237 and 64 cents!"

"$ 101,237 and 64 Cent?! But what have you sold?? "

" Well, a customer came and I sold a small fish hook, so I sold the average, then I could also sell the largest and the giant. Finally I also sold a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said he wanted to go on the south coast.

Then I told him that he would need a boat. So we went down to the boat and I plan to buy a Chris Craft cabin cruiser from eight yards with two engines of 100 hp. At that point he started thinking that maybe his Fiat Punto not going to never be able to pull that boat, so we went to our dealer and I sold a Pajero 4x4 "

"The response:" Would you tell me that a customer came here to buy a fish hook and you've also sold him a boat and an SUV?? "

" Oh, no no no! He had come here to buy a box of tampons for his wife. Then I said "Well, since you do not sweep this weekend, why not go fishing?"

---------------

're at a party and see a big pussy. You approach and say, "I order from God."

This is direct marketing.

're at a party with friends and see a big pussy. One of your friends approaches her and says, "that there broom god "

This is advertising.

're at a party and see a big pussy. I ask the cell phone number the day after the call and say," I purpose by God. "

This is tele-marketing.

're at a party and see a big pussy, you know. You approach the refresh his memory and say, "you remember what I purpose by God?".

This is customer relationship management.

're at a party and see a big pussy, you get up, get settled in your clothes, you get closer, the lines to drink, and tell her how good her perfume, admiring his clothes, offered a cigarette and say, "I purpose by God. "

This is public relations.

you at a party and see a big pussy. You approach and say," I order from god "and the more live shows pack.

This is

merchandising.

're at a party and see a big pussy. She comes over and says, "I heard that purpose by God."

This is branding.

You are at a party and see a big pussy. You approach the palpi ass and tits and say: "I purpose by God."

This is a test market.

're at a party and see a great pussy. You approach and say, 'I do from God and resist all night. "

This is misleading advertising !!!!!!!!!!!!!.

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Normandy - Omaha Beach

Beach Omaha Beach - The places of the D-Day, landing ...

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's too hot ...

"I am very fertile goats, sweet wine, all lasciviousness females, all men weak because of the star Sirius weakens heads and knees. "
(Hesiod)

Far West, the year of grace 1871. In a crowded saloon of cow-boys and little women of ill repute, comes in a rather eccentric type: dressed in a black tailcoat with a black top hat on his head and a leather briefcase in hand. While passing by, everyone turns to look at him. He approaches the piano and waves him to stop, then turns to the patrons:

- Good evening ladies and gentlemen ... I am the Magician Zufus!

all break out in laughter ...

- Ssshhhh ... Silence! I am the great magician Zufus able to surprise you with a thousand tricks! One from the audience:

- So let us see what you can do stranger!

- Instantly ... I'm here for this! To begin with I will give you a test of my fluid magic will take a between you and the public, only with the strength of the look, I HALYARDS him!

- Buuuuuu ... fiuuuuu ... fiiiiii

- Do not believe us? Be a volunteer!

He gets a guy in his twenties and near to the wizard. These mutes the public and then turns to the boy

- So ... pulled down his pants and underwear!

The boy is running and all those who sneer ...

The magician begins to fix it, rolls his hands over his head and whispers the magic words ... After about ten seconds if the guy finds it straight! All the onlookers mutes ... whereupon the magician

- See! And you that there fidavate me! Now the public is a ammosciare to do it ...

Always the same among those present:

- Yeah .. let us be your sister to do it ammosciare!

- But you've got it? Just some of you blowing it! Incredulous

rises from a front row blows over. The bird of the boy, who was turgid, ammoscia you in an instant.

- Oooohhh! - Amazement of the audience.

- Did you see what I'm capable of? But with this guy that was too easy! Is a forty!

He gets a middle-aged man, and without saying a word the magician drops his trousers and underpants. It repeats the scene before, but this time the magician takes about thirty seconds to bring his charm to an end.

Viewers are increasingly convinced ...

- is now one of you to blow!

He gets one from the public and blows on cock erection, in no time at all, it collapses like a deflated balloon.

- But it is too easy! Is a sixty!

comes a man in his sixties who, like its predecessors, pulls down his pants and underwear. The wizard begins the ritual, but this time it must be very straining, a few drops of sweat the front row, must say the spells aloud, until, after a couple of minutes, my cock stands erect! The Wizard, wiping his forehead

- How always be someone to blow on them to do ammosciare! In fact, one of the spectators stood up, blew on it and the burrito is ammoscia instantly. The Wizard exultant

- see my magic powers? But to the surprise of all, today I'll try an experiment never tried until now: I'll try to get him up to an old man of eighty!

- Oooohhh! - Amazement of the audience.

A sprightly old man now approaches the magician, who says,

- She is eighty years old?

- For all the lightning if I have them! I eighty-three!

As the old man was stripped naked, the magician begins his ritual ...

- Abracadabra ... bim sim room ... magic hula, who will be sodomized, Bibidi bobidi Bu ... eye, evil eye, parsley and fennel ... to EU ui magic is here ... UA ui U is not the magic goes ...

so spend five minutes but nothing happens to the old man, the magician is all a grimace of concentration, eaves liters of sweat, a preliminary incantations to no end, until ... After another ten minutes is successful. The old man looked between the legs, is seen as a turgid cock had not seen for decades ... then pulls his Colt 45 and two menacing screams

- Stop all ... WHO BLOWS AND 'DEAD!

---------------

A man of 80 years is to make his annual check to the doctor, who asked him how he feels.

"I have never been better in my life." Answered the old man. "I just married a girl of eighteen. E 'already pregnant and will soon be a father. What do you think?"

The doctor thinks for a moment and says,

"I want to tell a story. I met a man who was an avid hunter. He had never missed a hunting season. But one day he left the house hastily and took the umbrella instead of a gun. When he was in the woods, a bear suddenly rushed toward him. He took the umbrella and hugged him hard and pointed to the bear. And you know what happened? "

"No." Replied the old man.

The doctor continued: "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"It 's impossible!" cried the old man. "Someone else must have shot him in his place!"

"It 's exactly what I'm trying to explain!" replied the doctor.

---------------

How do sex "Rodeo"?

- You put your girl on all fours, you are approaching from behind, take a breast hands, penetration, and once entered, you say: "You know so well like your sister?".

You must be able to stay in the saddle for eight seconds ...

---------------

MARIA AND JUST HAVE JUMBO SPOSATI.JUMBO and Africa, and Maria's father is worried about her daughter that tonight we should consume the first NIGHT WITH THE AFRICAN. THEN CALL THE FATHER OF MARY AND JUMBO SAYS TO BE CAREFUL TO HIS DAUGHTER FOR TONIGHT, YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER JUMBO is also suffering from HEART. JUMBO AND SAYS: DO NOT BREOCCUBARE PAPA 'WHEN I GET TO THE HEART TURN !!!!!!!

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REFLECTION ANALYSIS OF AN OPINION OF VOTE VOTE

Our List has received 531 votes equal to 2.19%.
We have not reached the quorum to access, with at least one of our candidates for the office of City Councilman.

thanks to all those who believed in us, but I can not hide a certain disappointment.

Colognesi Voters chose once again to rely on ideological voting and decided to keep that kind of a consistent policy which continues to complain. Both made their will.

between the two main camps on the ballot has prevailed with his center-right candidate for mayor Velvet (50.9%). The former mayor

Sultan was defeated and did not conceal a certain satisfaction.

I personally went out of its majority four years ago, outraged by his choices of government.

I want to read this result in the intention of many voters, especially his former voters (many of whom entered our list), to punish a mayor who has not worked in the interest of the city.

A small consolation, but very significant, that gives us hope that, beyond dell'imperante ideology, clearly the principle of consent to remove those who do not it is deserved.

Franco Zocchi
e-mail: francozocchi@gmail.com

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OUR SUPPORT TO THE FIGHT INNSE

We support the struggle of the workers INNSE collect and distribute the invitation to their appeal outside of the factories in Peschiera Borromeo. Anyone interested in attending download the flyer (from the link below) or contact us (Silvia 347 1331917 / 327 7768746 Francis).

After 13 months of struggle, the workers of INNSE rallying workers and civil society not to allow the interests of speculators and developers have the upper hand on the desire to maintain production in the Milan area. The goal is to distribute 10 thousand flyers outside of the factories in the province, because it is in many, outside the gates of INNSE, to support this fight when need be ( LAWS AND SPREAD THE ' APPEAL OF MSW INNSE ) . The owner Silvano Genta and the new entrant in the field, an entrepreneur who has bought 4 cars from him, pressed it to enter the factory and dismantle the machinery. This and the Lombardy Region is still negotiating with entrepreneurs interested in acquiring new heads and INNSE Immobiliare AEDES were more willing to promote economic recovery of the area via Rubattino. If the machines were taken away all the efforts put in place would become futile. It is not just to support this struggle, but also to oppose a policy of land that puts the defense in last place of employment. Guido Podesta will probably launch its mandate by abolishing the Department of Labor and by focusing on three themes: waste, water and Expo, as if to say that the management of the Province will be resolved in awarding contracts.

An excerpt from the documentary on the struggle of INNSE.

By Silvia Tagliabue.

the story INNSE
The INNSE Lambrate is a small factory of heavy engineering, the last bastion of manufacturing large industrial area that was the way Rubattino Innocenti, in Milan. There he produced the famous Lambretta and 3 thousand workers working there. Then, with the progressive restructuring and closures, the road turned into a long row of derelict buildings, among them survived, in fact, lINNSE. The owner Silvano people have decided to close the factory on 31 May and its 49 workers have received a letter that opened the mobility procedure. Even the RSU had been advised. not take me long to decide what needed to be done: the same night all the workers entered the factory workers el'hanno guarding day and night. For three months they have carried out the production workers to be dismissed without pocketing anything, to deliver customers with pieces that were in progress and to show everyone that there is work, machine work, and that what makes the INNSE and its workers is a production of value. So much so that one customer, the Group Ormis of Brescia, told the press and the institutions to be interested in taking over the company tripling the number of workers. And yet: for now the deal has not gone to the port and has not done anything to facilitate, indeed. The fact is that the whole area of \u200b\u200bVia Rubattino is affected by an Urban Renewal Program (PRU) of the Municipality of Milan unarea which provides residential, business park, the Crystal Palace, a detachment of the Faculty of Pharmacy and a large urban park, called, ironically, just at the Lambretta. addition to the City, interest in the field are that of the immovable AEDES owner of the area on which stands the INNSE - in serious financial disagree and therefore anxious to make money - and the same owner Silvano Genta, who purchased the controlled by the factory for only € 700 thousand and now wants to dismantle it by selling the machines. In September, the workers were evacuated from the factory and occupied an abandoned lodge at the gates. Since then, keep a defense day and night to prevent the owner from entering into the shop for take away the machine. Their hope is that local institutions pave the way for the entrepreneur who had indicated an interest in buying the INNSE be enabled to do so or to be given the opportunity to someone else to take over the production to resume.

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YOU THOSE DAYS, THERE WAS YOU


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Sunday, June 21 to vote for the runoff in our common.

The Velvet candidto mayor, the center-right coalition, is a new face of politics. You can only judge on the program and then on the promises he does.

His team has some positive qualities but also of birth defects of the old politics.

vote and main take an act of hope.

For the mayoral candidate of the center-Sultan, the assessment is based on facts. He ruled for five years and can be judged on the facts. A list of facts very negative as shown by the reading of all our previous posts.

A mayor who is devoted mainly the concrete, not seen since the sixties, not a mayor who has worked for the interests of the city. If you reward those who have done evil, if only for ideology, it is harmful to themselves and we end up giving it a conviction of omnipotence. A second term, even without the concern to maintain a degree of consensus, they can not be re-elected for a third time, it could be disastrous.

There are other issues to be considered general.

Cologno The center has been in power continuously for over twenty years. And this is certainly not in the general direction.
A government entrenched in the corridors of power and always made by the same men, moving with the certainty of being able to always get away. If, despite everything, always renewed, completely abandon any inhibitions.

When you are faced with the choice between two political forces, both very questionable, you should not vote. But there is a better solution than to focus on the alternation.

When you do not have a candidate of absolute security, our only defense is to change, alternate positions, without giving way to anyone to perpetuate his misdeeds.

My personal opinion is that they should be turarci nose and vote for Velvet.

Franco Zocchi

e-mail: francozocchi@gmail.com

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Society & Environment makes no arrangements for the ballot

From The Citizen of 17/06/2009
Valerio Complaints
(click on article to read bigger)

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thanks

I want to thank all those citizens who have supported in these days of endless election campaign: first, the Companions of the PRC and the Friends of Peschiera environment, but also all the other people who have pigeonholed flyers (you can still pigeonhole without having to pay anyone ...), attached posters or just made small talk with the next table in the bar to support us. Thanks also to all voters (many: 1080 votes - 8.2%) that gave us confidence, we will work to ensure that this is most worthily rewarded.
look forward, now, your support also in the activity in the coming years, where we, among other things, seek to assert our role in the City Council, since I will be definitely elected.

Thank you all, Luca

Brunet

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Brunet Luke closes the campaign with Nema Problem

At the conclusion of the election campaign of Society & Environment:

NEMA PROBLEM

MUSIC CONCERT IN BALKAN VERSION ACOUSTIC

FRIDAY 'June 5, 2009 at 18:30



IN PIAZZA MERCALLI PIROVANO
in Peschiera Borromeo

will close the evening Luke Brunet, a mayoral candidate in Peschiera Borromeo Society & Environment for the coalition. Sergio will be Facchini, candidate of the Communist Refoundation the provincial council for the College of Segrate and Peschiera Borromeo.

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IF YOU WANT TO VOTE ON THE LEFT ... ECCO

THE REAL VOTE PROFIT

Following the split of the Democratic Party's left Peschiera Borromeo is now divided into three equivalent forces. The break in the PD was the result not so much divisions generated by the program, and by the personalities and competing interests. If you think a center-left, do not want to waste the vote and want to oppose the advance of the rights, do not feed the duel between the two opposing factions Tobacco-Colombo: Choose who can rebuild a modern left, and participatory government in Peschiera Borromeo.

FOR UNIT 'TO THE LEFT

NOT TO WIN THE RIGHT TO CHANGE REALLY
PESCHIERA BORROMEO

against the interests of "usual suspects ALL THE SAME"

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the identikit of those who would GOVERNANCE PESCHIERA BORROMEO

TRANSFORMERS

· Francesco Tabacchi : Malinverno out by the junta in 2004, six months before the expiry of the mandate and becomes mayor of a council of center-left. In the first year of government endorses previous urban projects of the administration (not included in the electoral program), forcing us to move in opposition. In March 2009 he resigned after the distrust of the city council. Old logic for new balances!

· Enrica Colombo: Department arrived in tobacco, which supports all administrative actions, is a candidate against him in the primaries of the Democratic Party. Defeat is a candidate for mayor again a new list: the Democratic base. In his program is "preservation and protection of the Milan South Agricultural Park" and, simultaneously, "Implementation of the Urban Park City Town" or the parcelling out of the area between Half, Zeal and Bettola, right in South Park! New rationale for old balances!

· Antonio Falletta : two months ago he was elected national coordinator of the UDC. A month later, as if by magic, change the jacket and it becomes a candidate for mayor of PDL League and by downloading the UDC. Congratulations Antonio!

· Italy of Values \u200b\u200b : Tobacco out of the junta in 2005 in opposition to his work. Inexplicably, today decided to support it, although it should be incorporated into legal problems. This sudden change of ideas is in sharp contrast with the values \u200b\u200bof "legality, transparency and efficiency" who claim to represent. First prize for consistency!

· Marco Malinverno : Peschiera mayor for ten years, star of known legal proceedings, through numerous political groupings. Among the various disaster planning is responsible for the transformation from agricultural to commercial area now spent at the mall along the Paullese. Return yes, but not to the future!

· Wanda Buzzella : local leader of the Greens and the majority of tobacco, leaving the Greens to enter the PD. Once you chained to trees, now we get down! It 'was the leading exponent of a junta that has built around the constructible in San Bovio and beyond. He then goes on its way to landing the Democratic Base (Colombo-Chiappella Councillors) to end up in the last month, a candidate in the left for the province. Do you know where the votes, you do not know where to find it ...

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matters of taste ...!

"Now just to be safe practical oral sex.
I talk about it and just"
(Andreas Schon)

Great wedding party in the living room of an eighteenth century villa.

After a fine feast open dancing, an orchestra playing romantic music and engaging. A very shy boy, sitting on the sidelines, she notices a beautiful girl sitting across the room, after many hesitations decided it was time to go for broke and groped to invite her to dance with him.

Taking advantage of the interval between tracks and the other across the room trying not to get noticed, approached the girl, clears his throat and whispers

"Sorry to bother you, long time I'm watching you and me really like: would you give me the next dance? ".

Against all reasonable expectation, she goes on a rampage and start shouting:

"sooo?? But how dare you?? We have never seen before, do not show up either and I wonder now if I want to sleep with you ????".

Immediately the attention of the room moves on the boy who blushes to glow, not even dare ask for an explanation but, ashamed, returns to his seat trying to blend in with the surrounding furniture.

After a couple of minutes, the girl across the room and takes the boy approached him and whispered in his ear:

"I'm sorry for the reaction that I had before: you know, I am a student in psychology, I am graduate with a thesis on shyness and embarrassment, and I thought of using the I was offered by this party to do some 'field research. I am sorry that he has borne the brunt of it is you. "

And boy, screaming in the general silence:

" Are you crazy?? Cent € for a blowjob ?????"

--------------------

While her husband is already in bed , the wife is still in the bathroom to get a bidet. After a while, 'as she arrives, he immediately asks her to make love.

`But she refused:" No. I have to stay clean. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the gynecologist. "Her husband seems resigned, but after a while, 'he asks:" It is not by chance that also the dentist appointment you tomorrow? "

--------------------

A bunny is in the woods and wants to have sex.

Then go to a brothel for animals.

the hippo's recommended twelve room, where else is the Cobra, the most slutty of them all.

He goes, knocks, the Cobra sees it and eats it.

After some thought the Cobra, "but it was a customer or dinner?"

Obsessed with this doubt call the hippo says,

"was a customer! Spit it out now that has not yet paid! "

The Cobra then try to spit it out, when it finally succeeds,

save bunny, all wet and bewildered, she combs her hair and says,

"EU, with blowjobs go slowly!"

--------------------

A policeman on the bike chasing a Porsche convertible, driven by a blonde who is wrong all the curves . The policeman

speeds up, the tops, and waves him to stop. The cop gets out and approaches the car.

- Miss, but it seems that the way to drive?

- Ohh I'm sorry! I'm so careless ... is the fourth time I stop, you know?! I am a dancer of Channel 5, I did the auditions for Big Brother ...

- Ok, ok, I do not interesting ... give me your license!

- Ohh the license, you ... then ... here it is ...

- No, miss, that is the identity card. The license is pink, and it is required to guide ...

- Uffiii ... do not do that! Blimey! Where did I put it? The blonde

down the whole bag on the seat and starts searching ...

- There it is! It 's this true? Sa, is the fourth time I stop this morning, e. ..

- Yeah, yeah, ok. Give me your license, please.

The cop opens the license, and says

- Venus?!? Her name is Venus?

- Siiiii recognized me? I am a dancer Channel 5, I made the Snakes and Velina ...

- Ok, ok, give me the book please?

- Ohhh my god, the book ... the book ... Here he is this here?

- No, Miss Venus, that is a brochure of fashion, the book is blue, and contains the data that drives the machine ...

- Damn that nerves, where I put it?!? It 's the fourth time I stop this morning, you know? And 'this here book?

- Yes, that is ... I pass ...

The policeman takes the license and the book and leaves to do the check on the radio.

- Hello Central? I stopped a blonde, half rintontita, with Porsche, which is called ... Venus ... From Central

ready answer:

- Venus?? Have you stopped Venus?? The dancer? To Channel 5?

- Yes, she, you know? Step.

- You're the fourth to the firm this morning! That's crazy! It 's too stupid!

- Yeah, well ... I noticed ... So what?

- Then you must go to her, you get to the window and then pull it out!

- Central! But are you crazy? The one complaint I!

- Go quiet, trust me, go to her and pull out ... trust me ...

The cop thinks it over. It did not take anyone, the lady is waiting in the car.

- Ok, center, I try, but if I complaint ...

- What do you mean?!? It 's too stupid! Go, go!

The cop approaches the car ... see the girl who says

- Why look at me? Are there problems?

Then the policeman, having sighed, loose pants and pulls out. The girl surprise

- Oohhh can not believe it! Another time the alcohol test ...

--------------------

Two friends meet by chance on the street: "Well, Louise, I knew that you were able

to convince Charles to marry. " "It '...

but I knew what I had to swallow

"

--------------------

During the cold war, the delegation of the Congo, was pro-Communist,

went to the Soviet Union in diplomatic visit.

Delegates Africans are brought around as long as Moscow 'come at a nightclub

where some people are pointing a gun to his head.

Then ask, "Gosa Guello be?".

"This is' our national sport: Russian roulette!

Take a gun, loads, all shots are blanks, but one ".

Delegates are fascinated cruelty 'of the game and finished

visit, returning to Congo.

afterwards, and the Russian delegation that travels to the Congo.

are also brought them around to see the local sights, and eventually are taken to a hut.

The African chief says, "in Guest gapanna sbort us keep our national

" roulette Gong. "

The Russian delegates come in and rubbed my eyes:

the hut and 'full of beautiful naked women . Beautiful, but how do you play? ".

" Dudde Guesde Bombini women do, but be gannibale! ".

Some basic rules of oral sex

1. are not required to do so.
2. If you get one, be grateful. Corollary: If you get one does not mean it will become a habit
3. I do not care what you see in porn movies, come on someone's face is not 'a standard practice. Corollary: Do not have to swallow.
4. My ears are not handles. Extension - do not push me on the head, I do not feel it in my throat. And then you will not want to vomit on us!
5. I do not care what you relax, fart I do not think a fine thing.
6. When I have my own things, and that does not mean 'a week of sales. I feel like shit and are not obligated to just suck 'cause we can not get laid.
7. If I have to pause to remove hair from the throat, do not tell me I've ruined everything.
8. Leaving me in bed after you came and go immediately to play video games and 'highly inadvisable if you want to do it again in the future.
9. If you like I do, and probably 'better not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Enjoy the moment and be happy that we're 'well.
10. Your "seed" did not particularly taste good. And do not try to convince me of its high protein content.
11. not do it 'and never watch TV'.
12. Just because 'and' right when you wake up does not mean I have to give him the "kiss hello".
13. The oral sex is mutual, if you want to convince me to lick it before you you have to lick me.
14. Then do not complain when you kiss me if you feel the smell of your semen.
15. If I enter everything in their mouths is not because my mouth is great but ...

Story of a trade

In the Middle Ages, the life expectancy of men was 40-45 years and the social and health care non-existent. When a man died, to certify the death, was called the "doctor" to verify that the actual death, the deceased used to inflict pain and the most commonly used at that time was a powerful bite inflicted on toes (almost always the big toe).

In the dialect of the populace, the doctor took it the nickname "sexton." This practice gave rise to a real job.

the tradition says that the profession was passed down from father to eldest son but in the late Middle Ages, something happened that changed the future of the sexton. One of the most famous sexton could not conceive a son, his wife gave birth to four daughters. The sexton, to prevent the extinction of the trade, the church asked for a dispensation to pass the job to his daughter, who later, having received the blessing, he began his work as a gravedigger. It so happened that his first death was a man who had cut a wagon, both legs and the girl undecided about where to inflict the bite, finally made a decision ....

This led to the modern funeral home.

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good people ...

The good people will not lose its primary and leaves the parties
The good people who do not leave heavy criticism from the majority and then finding out the same reasons, hiding The real ones
good people do not support a mayor 4 years and a half, and then leaves him for reasons not clear
The good people have the courage to play the game in first person, does not hide who is not presentable
The good people are not wasting so much money for the campaign
The good people do not organize parties hiding the true identity
The good people do not write "defend the South Park "and then proposed to build the city center just within its borders
The good people did not need to copy the ideas of others, after they have been criticized for years
The good people is not politically correct is for good and sufficient .

Do not listen to what they say ... look what they did!
not fooled by the face I have cleaned up just for the campaign, look at what is hidden behind.
not sure to complain about having to start from 8th June.
Do not waste another opportunity ... time passes!

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CANCELLED THE COMPARISON BETWEEN THE CANDIDATES PESCHIERESI center-left to the Provincial Council

The announced meeting between peschieresi center-left candidates for the post of Adviser proviciale has not taken place. The evening, organized by the associations "The Tribe" and "Ciclostinati", which was supposed to compare Wanda Buzzella (Left and Freedom), Sergio Facchini (PRC) and Antonella Parisotto (PD) has been canceled at the request of the applicant at the time Buzzella begin. Absent Parisotto the candidate, the evening opened with a presentation by the thought that Buzzella useless to carry the comparison because the audience was composed exclusively of "insiders". The call of the spokesman for the tribe to carry the evening depending on the program was declined by the candidate. Sergio Facchini was not able to accept the decision of the other candidates discouraged to avoid confrontation.

We believe that this situation is becoming untenable and that public meetings can be considered only as a hunting ground in the vote "but should be treated with respect for all citizens who participate. E 'duty of a politician, especially if the candidate, and present its report indipendetemente the number of auditors. The autroreferenzialità that the political class is proving to be an element peschierese serious and dangerous for democracy, do not accept the comparison is not only an impoverishment of the debate and the level of growth proposed, but also an arrogant presumption that it can not receive any stimulus from the constructive citizenship. All this adds to the intimidation act of vandalism that tonight (Sunday, May 31) was launched against our club Prc "Luciano Previato" Peschiera Borromeo, who have been looted and posters outside the flag. We reiterate once again that we are for a policy of confrontation, transparency and dialogue, against all acts of abuse and hooliganism, which invades when politics becomes even more serious. We appeal to the democratic forces, the media and institutions so that together we can break this vicious circle that only volumes can damage the awareness and participation of citizens in local politics. Thank you anyway associations Zancle 2000, Ciclostinati and the tribe for their effort and commitment.

PRC Peschiera Borromeo - Ass Peschiera Environment

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CANCELLED THE COMPARISON BETWEEN THE candidate for mayor of Peschiera Borromeo

Unfortunately, we found that was thrown away an opportunity to clarify the complex political landscape that characterizes Peschiera Borromeo in these elections of 6-7 June. The long-awaited confrontation between the seven candidates for mayors, Society & Environment requested by the coalition and many citizens peschieresi is indeed "jumped" to the numerous defections from the parties directly involved. Mr. Santi Epulp, President of the Sicilian Cultural Zancle and organizer of the initiative for Saturday, May 30 at the Multipurpose Center Sandro Pertini, has reported that the comparison was immediately boycotted by Frances Tobacco Co (who has said he wants to compare Antonio Falletta only) and by the same Anthony Falletta, for reasons not specified. Of the five candidates who have agreed (Arcidiacono, Malinverno, Bruschi, Colombo and Brunet), two changed their minds and withdraw their support. To date, only Luke Brunet, Marco Malinverno and Carla Bruschi became available in an open and transparent about their respective programs. The organizer Saints Epulp stated that it had been in contact with all candidates and the press that the invitation was accepted by all.
Due to the lack of participation of four candidates for mayors, the comparison has been canceled and the citizens of Peschiera have lost the opportunity to attend and speak to a real debate and not the usual propaganda without contradictory. Surely a missed opportunity for a healthy and vigorous democratic life, that in the absence of a public debate between the candidates, results favor the party or the candidate who has substantial funds to invest in expensive campaigns election.

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PROGRAM FOR THE COALITION SOCIETY '& ENVIRONMENT FIVE POINTS

Luke Brunet presents his candidacy Society & Environment and the coalition that supports it

The city we want: the construction of a downtown, South Park defense, stopping the construction, renewable energy

For better roads and the upgrading of public transport

The strengthening of the public schools and for more cultural offerings

For the defense of local trade and against the major shopping centers

Elections 2009: Vote for Mayor Luke Brunet in Peschiera Borromeo and Sergio Facchini to the Provincial Council. Massimo Gatti VOTE for President of the Province of Milan

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INTERVIEW WITH OUR MAYOR AND RENEWAL



1. what are the priorities for Cologne?

priorities in Cologne, for decades are still the same. They consist of a long list of good intentions and promises never kept. You can not make promises until you first create the conditions necessary to maintain them. If you waste their time to promote their corporate interests and consolidate their positions of power, then there are none left to dedicate himself to the commitments made during the election campaign.

Always the same people in power (inside and outside the institutions) free to act undisturbed, for lack of control by a virtually non-existent opposition. For this reason we believe the basic renovation and the moralization of politics in our town. Essential prerequisite for achieving results impossible otherwise.

However, we emphasize that, at the end of an unprecedented upheaval of our city, now takes care of the environment a priority for us. Under the new plan of government of the territory (PGT), lay the foundations for a long period of calm edificatoria reduced to a minimum (restoration and reconstruction of abandoned buildings). We will give way to the citizens of metabolizing the mass of concrete poured over the city, trying to mitigate the effects of more invasive.

2. an opinion on 5 years as a soldier.

in five years has built many palaces and barracks not seen the 60's, with unprecedented haste and greed and without any plausible justification. He nearly extinguished the last green areas building and ransacked a pool of resources (infrastructure costs) in total disregard for the future generations.
The new residence built by him will mean, once inhabited a peak population increase of 10%, with huge problems absorption. This will produce an increase in pollution, traffic, parking and an exaggerated adaptation of services to more inconsistent with the small municipal finance. Another big problem for future administrations.

regard to the social, has forced the municipality to work frantically, and unsuccessfully, for over two years (meetings, discussions, councils, meetings with the public) to the project of a Roma camp luxury (village solidarity) without even able to achieve it.

3. why go alone.

The reason is simple and takes its force and conviction of what we believe deeply, that we can not take the same path of those political context can not demean our core values \u200b\u200ballying with those who trample, we can not change the way we administer the city and instill a deep sense of ethics in politics if there alleiamo with whom, with his way of administering the one hand, and others with an opposition consociativismo other, convinced us to take the field to promote change.

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The real differences between men and women ...

The real differences between men ...

... and women

You men, you have the rights to your women, but also
your women have rights over you. Treat them well, they have your help. "
(Koran)

Nicknames

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for dinner, they will call each other Susy, Debbie, Laura and Mary .

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as 'Fat Man', 'Head of c *', 'Fool' and 'Godzilla'.

A dinner out

4 men out to dinner: even if the account is 80 thousand pounds, everyone will pull out 50 thousand pounds, and say that no minor cuts, and do not want the rest.

4 Women out to dinner, when the bill comes, the pocket calculators.

Money

A man will pay 5,000 pounds for an item worth 2000, if it wishes.

A woman will pay 2,000 pounds for an item worth 5000, does not want.

Bath
A man has an average of six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. One woman in

average 337 objects, most of which a man can not identify.

talk A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says and 'the beginning of a new argument.

Future A woman worries about the future until 'she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until 'he gets a wife.

Success A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find this man.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he will not change.

A man marries a woman expecting that she will not change, and she will change.

DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Naturalness

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to sleep.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Prole

A woman knows all about her children's dentist appointments, best friends, dreams, nightmares, fears and hopes.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the day

Any married man should forget his mistakes: there is no reason why two people remembering the same things.

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You're getting old when ...

"When you have twenty years is believed to have solved the mystery of the world, thirty one begins to think about, forty one discovers that it is insoluble."
(A. Strindberg)

The 6.00 am is the time when you stand up and not one where you go to sleep
Your friends' married and divorced, "rather than" get together and release "Have you
Met someone who gives of her without taking the piss
Exit with an umbrella and do not let him
around 90% of computer time is for study or work
You have 130 days of leave backward, instead of 2
Jeans T-shirt and no longer means "being dressed"
Dinner and film the entire evening rather than the beginning of a
You do not know the closing time of your favorite local
Eat at fast food at lunchtime only
Having sex in not a bed Double you think absurd
Pharmacy: aspirin and antacids, instead of condoms and pregnancy tests
You have more food than beer in the fridge
oldest relatives have no more problems to tell dirty jokes when you're there
Listen to your favorite song at the supermarket
You worry about what you do in two months
Your plants remain alive
cleaning of your house becomes more important than cleaning your car
payments for car insurance go down, as it rises the price of your new car
you who call the police because the kids in the apartment next to no lower that approximately *** stereo
MTV is no longer your favorite channel

're still reading and rereading this list looking for something that has nothing to do with you!